Why “Who” and “Whom” Matter
Language evolves over time, and not every grammar rule remains set in stone. You might notice that “whom” is used less frequently in everyday speech than it once was. In modern informal contexts, many people replace “whom” with “who” without giving it a second thought. However, there are important reasons to learn and apply the correct form:
- Clarity: Precise grammar helps you express your ideas clearly. When you use “who” and “whom” correctly, your sentences are more accurate and easier to understand.
- Professionalism: If you write essays, articles, business letters, or professional emails, correct usage of pronouns projects professionalism and attention to detail.
- Language Preservation: Grammar rules, such as the difference between “who” and “whom,” reflect the rich history of English. Following these rules can help preserve the language’s structure.
- Respect for Readers: Proper grammar signals respect for your audience. You show readers that you care about effective communication and are willing to put in the effort to use language correctly.
While it’s true that some style guides and editors consider “whom” optional in casual or modern usage, many academic institutions and professional environments still expect standard grammar. Understanding the rules will make you a more versatile speaker and writer who can adapt to any context.
The Core Difference Between Who and Whom
The fundamental difference between “who” and “whom” lies in their grammatical function:
- “Who” serves as the subject of a sentence or clause. In other words, “who” performs the action.
- “Whom” serves as the object of a verb or preposition. In other words, “whom” receives the action.
Think of “who” as analogous to “he,” “she,” or “they,” which are subject pronouns, and “whom” as analogous to “him,” “her,” or “them,” which are object pronouns. This comparison often helps: if you can replace the pronoun in question with “he” or “she,” then you should use “who.” If you can replace it with “him” or “her,” then “whom” is correct.
Example:
- Who gave you that book? (Subject pronoun: “He gave you that book.”)
- You gave the book to whom? (Object pronoun: “You gave the book to him.”)
Grammatical Roles of Who and Whom
Subject Position
When a pronoun acts as the subject of a sentence, it performs the action. For example:
- Who walked the dog?
- Who is going to the store?
- Who wrote this article?
In these sentences, “who” performs an action (walked, is going, wrote). If you can rephrase the sentence with “he,” “she,” or “they,” “who” remains appropriate.
Object Position
When a pronoun acts as the object, it receives the action. In other words, something is being done to “whom.” For example:
- You spoke to whom?
- The instructor asked whom to present first?
- The researcher consulted whom for more data?
In these cases, “whom” is the receiver of an action (spoke to, asked, consulted). If you replace “whom” with “him,” “her,” or “them” and the sentence still makes sense, you’re using “whom” correctly.
Object of a Preposition
“Whom” often appears directly after a preposition such as “to,” “with,” or “for.” These are some examples:
- To whom should I address this letter?
- With whom did you share the news?
- For whom is this gift intended?
Since the pronoun follows a preposition, it operates as the object. Therefore, “whom” is correct.
Quick Tests for Correct Usage
Grammar can be intuitive if you know a few quick tricks. The simplest test is known as the he/him rule or she/her rule:
- Rewrite the sentence by substituting the pronoun in question with “he” or “him.”
- See which substitution makes sense in your rewritten sentence.
- Match “he” with “who” and “him” with “whom.”
Example
- Original: Who/Whom did she call?
- Try “he”: She called he? (Incorrect)
- Try “him”: She called him? (Correct)
- Correct pronoun: She called whom? (since “him” fits)
This easy substitution rule can save you a lot of confusion, especially in casual conversation or quick writing tasks.
Common Mistakes and How to Fix Them
Overusing “Whom”
Some people think that “whom” sounds more refined or intellectual, so they sprinkle it into sentences incorrectly. Avoid overusing “whom” in places where “who” is correct.
- Incorrect: Whom is planning the event? (“Who” should be used because it’s the subject of the verb “is planning.”)
- Correct: Who is planning the event?
Ignoring the Preposition
When a pronoun follows a preposition, you almost always need “whom.” Many forget about this and write “who” instead.
- Incorrect: I don’t know who I should share this with.
- Correct: I don’t know whom I should share this with.
- Even better for formal writing: I don’t know with whom I should share this.
Using “Who” When Referring to an Object
If “who” ends up in the object position, you have an error. Make sure that the pronoun is functioning as a subject before you settle on “who.”
- Incorrect: The committee selected the candidate who they believed would perform best.
- Actually, this can be tricky—depending on how you parse the sentence, “they believed” can serve as a relative clause. We’ll tackle complexities like this in the advanced section.
- Correct: The committee selected the candidate whom they believed would perform best. (Here, “they believed” modifies the candidate as an object of “selected.”)
Who and Whom in Questions
Questions often cause confusion because of inverted word order. Let’s clarify:
Direct Questions
- Who took my phone?
- Whom should I ask about the schedule?
In the first question, “who” is the subject because it’s the doer of the action “took.” In the second question, “whom” is the object because it’s receiving the action “should I ask.”
Indirect Questions
Indirect questions also require the same logic:
- I wonder who took my phone. (Subject)
- I wonder whom I should ask about the schedule. (Object)
Many people overlook the indirect question rule, but it’s essential if you want consistent grammatical accuracy in your writing.
Who and Whom in Relative Clauses
Relative clauses can be defining (essential) or non-defining (non-essential). In both cases, the choice between “who” and “whom” depends on the pronoun’s function within the relative clause.
Defining Relative Clauses
A defining relative clause gives essential information about the noun it modifies.
- He is the person who fixed my car. (Subject of the verb “fixed”)
- She is the student whom the teacher praised. (Object of the verb “praised”)
Non-Defining Relative Clauses
A non-defining relative clause adds extra information.
- My brother, who is a photographer, took these pictures. (Subject in the relative clause)
- The professor, whom everyone respects, is giving a lecture tonight. (Object in the relative clause)
Complex Cases
Sometimes you encounter sentences that blur the line or present nested clauses. Always isolate the clause in question and test whether the pronoun is subject or object within that specific clause.
Tips and Memory Hacks
He/Him Trick
We’ve mentioned this already, but it bears repeating. Temporarily replace “who/whom” with “he/him” to see if the sentence makes sense. If “he” works, use “who.” If “him” works, use “whom.”
Ask a Question
Form a question in your head about the sentence’s meaning. Who is performing the action? Whom is receiving it? This approach can clarify which form you need.
Mind the Preposition
When you see words like “to,” “for,” “with,” “about,” or “from,” pay close attention. These prepositions usually require an object, which means you should use “whom.”
Practice, Practice, Practice
Language mastery comes from repetition. Incorporate example sentences into your daily routine. Write them down, say them aloud, or use them in your texts and emails (where appropriate).
Read High-Quality Texts
Reading well-edited books, articles, and essays can help you develop an intuitive sense of correct usage. Over time, you’ll start to recognize whether “who” or “whom” feels right in a sentence.
Practice Exercises
Try these exercises to reinforce what you’ve learned. Select the correct form of “who” or “whom.”
- (Who/Whom) would like to volunteer for the event?
- (Who/Whom) should I contact for more information?
- The committee hasn’t decided (who/whom) will lead the project.
- The person (who/whom) I saw at the event looked familiar.
- I don’t know (who/whom) to ask about this issue.
- The manager, (who/whom) we all respect, delivered the keynote address.
- Do you know (who/whom) took the last slice of cake?
- With (who/whom) did you travel?
- We’re not sure (who/whom) the board chose for the position.
- The author, (who/whom) wrote three bestsellers, is speaking tonight.
Answer Key (highlight to see answers):
- Who (subject)
- Whom (object, receives “contact”)
- Who (subject of the clause “will lead the project”)
- Whom (object of “I saw”)
- Whom (object, receives “to ask”)
- Whom (object of “respect”)
- Who (subject, “took the last slice”)
- Whom (object of preposition “with”)
- Whom (object, “the board chose him/her”)
- Who (subject of “wrote”)
Frequently Asked Questions
Is “Whom” Obsolete?
In casual conversation, many people skip “whom” entirely. However, in formal writing, academic papers, or professional contexts, “whom” still holds value. It can help you sound more precise and maintain grammatical correctness.
Can I Avoid “Whom” Completely?
Some style guides, especially those focused on modern and casual writing, consider “whom” optional. Still, if you want your writing to reflect higher grammatical standards, you should learn to use “whom” correctly.
Is It Ever Wrong to Use “Who” Instead of “Whom”?
Yes, in strictly grammatical terms, using “who” in an object position is incorrect. However, in everyday speech, you might notice many native speakers ignoring this rule. The key is knowing your audience and the context.
What if I’m Unsure?
When in doubt, use the he/him substitution method. Also, read the sentence out loud and consider how formal the situation is. If it’s a high-stakes environment (like a job application or an academic paper), err on the side of grammatical correctness.
Are There Exceptions to These Rules?
English has exceptions for almost every rule, but “who” and “whom” are relatively straightforward. The biggest challenge is identifying complex sentence structures or nested clauses. Always isolate the clause and check the pronoun’s function.
Conclusion
Mastering the distinction between “who” and “whom” takes practice, but it’s far from impossible. The key is to remember that “who” functions as a subject pronoun and “whom” functions as an object pronoun—often following a preposition or acting as the direct or indirect object of a verb. Use the he/him substitution trick to double-check your sentences, and pay special attention to question structures and relative clauses.
Grammatical precision not only improves clarity and professionalism in your writing but also shows respect for your audience. Whether you’re crafting an academic paper, refining a cover letter, or simply aiming to polish your everyday communication, using “who” and “whom” correctly can elevate the effectiveness of your message. Keep practicing with real sentences, reading authoritative texts, and applying these rules consistently. Over time, you’ll find that choosing the correct pronoun becomes second nature.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog post is for educational purposes only and is based on generally accepted grammatical guidelines. Language usage and rules can vary depending on context, region, and evolving style guides. Always consult specific style manuals or language resources when in doubt, especially for formal, academic, or professional writing.
